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Increasing Your Sex Drive

How is your love life? Could it stand some improvement? Don’t worry – you are not alone. As a matter of fact, most couples experience periods where their intimate relationship takes a back seat to life’s issues such as illness, stress, family problems, worries about finances and children. Add to the mix the changes associated with aging. Sex drive, also called libido, varies naturally. However, sometimes we just need some tips to bring romance back to the important place it should have in your relationship with the person who is most important in your life.


These tips have been partially borrowed from wikiHOW to do anything.

1. Have a positive mental attitude about life and keep your stress level low.

I know, that is easier to say than do. Most of us know people who can find something negative to say about anything or anybody. Make yourself consciously find some positive attribute about everything.

Are you stressed? When you are stressed, a hormone in your body called cortisol rises. This has several bad responses such as weight gain, poor sleep, poor production of hormones, diminished sex drive, diminished immune system. If you are stressed try an herbal supplement such as Ashwaganda to help modulate a high cortisol level.

Consider making changes to things that stress you. Do certain people stress you – avoid them. Does your commute to work stress you? Change your route. Kids driving you crazy? Have a family meeting and set boundaries and guidelines.

It is helpful to realize men and women react differently to stress. For men, sex is often a release from stress, while for women, stress kills the sex drive worse than anything.

2. Do not fall for special foods or supplements that promise to increase your libido.

There is scientific proof that some supplements may increase your sex drive: vitamin E, zinc, vitamin C, arginine, vitamin A, Beta-carotene, vitamin B6, and vitamin B complex. Keep in mind vitamins can be overused and doses should be recommended by your health care professional.

Some foods may also increase libido by adding much needed nutrients and minerals to your diet: celery, raw oysters, bananas, avocado, nuts, mangoes, peaches, strawberries, eggs, liver, figs, garlic, pumpkin and chocolate.

Rather than expecting “miracles” from supplements or special foods, try to eat a healthy diet of lean protein and fresh fruits and vegetables; exercise regularly (enough to make your sweat) and include resistance training; maintain a healthy body fat percentage.

3. Appreciate the psychological component of sex drive.

Sexual desire can often be triggered, or dampened, by environmental stimuli. To avoid ruining the “mood”, remove photos of your parents or children from your bedroom (where it may appear they are staring at you). Ban pets from your bed. Keep stacks of bills or work-related documents away from the bed.

To help set the “mood” for a romantic encounter select lighting that can be dimmed or light candles. Let some fresh air into your room and use incense, essential oils, or lightly scented candles. Avoid heavy perfumes or air fresheners.

4. Prepare for intimacy.

Coffee and chocolate are considered aphrodisiacs because they produce positive moods, release endorphins, provide energy via the caffeine content, and increase physical endurance. Wine and other forms of alcohol in small amounts may help with relaxation. High consumption can cause impotence in men.

5. Explore scenarios that spark “magic” in your partner.

Use your imagination, role play, use costumes or props – be creative. Be subtle. Sometimes just a hint of naughtiness can be enticing!

6. Seek the help of a professional.

If you are experiencing problems that you can’t manage, seek a qualified, non-judgmental health professional to direct you in resolution of the issue. This might be a sex therapist, a gynecologist, a urologist, or even a family doctor.

7. Be patient.

If your partner is being treated for a medical problem and has lost interest in sex, be patient and realize that treatment may take a while. Love and intimacy can be expressed in different ways. Pressure to “perform” is a huge detriment to a satisfying sexual experience.

Be accepting of the natural fluctuations in your own libido and those of your partners. Accept yourself. I have been in practice 40 years and am yet to meet the patient who is 100% satisfied with herself. We can be our own worst enemies.


A first step to increase your libido is to be as drug free as possible. Many medications used to lower blood pressure can also affect libido and a man’s erection. If you smoke tobacco or pot, drink alcohol daily or use illegal drugs, you are undermining your sex drive. Change these habits! Never use performance enhancing drugs that have not been prescribed for you – these can adversely affect your health with serious consequences. Be wary of herbs and supplements that promise to increase your libido, especially if you are on other prescription medication. There can be some deadly interactions.

Consider devices such as those offered by the Options line. These can enhance a good relationship or fill the void of an absent one. I welcome all questions and comments!

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