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The “Ins and Outs” of Oral Sex

Updated: Sep 1, 2023

One of the frequent questions posed in my women’s wellness practice is some version of, “How do you do oral sex?” There are other questions that follow such as, “Is it safe?”, “How does it taste?”, or maybe, “Is it not putting something nasty in my mouth?”.

Oral sex, (cunninglus, fellatio), is a sexual activity that involves licking and/or sucking the male penis and testicles. It is an activity enjoyed by many couples. Unfortunately, humans do not come with instruction books. So, how does one learn these things? We ask trusted girlfriends, we watch porn movies, OR we ask our open-minded health care providers.

First: is putting a man’s genitals in your mouth safe? If the man is relatively clean, the genitals are just like any other body part. There are normal skin bacteria. Be on the lookout for any open sores or warty growths. If these are present, put on the brakes! Saliva can naturally kill some bacteria, so, yes, oral sex is safe.

Is oral sex nasty? Urine is sterile when it leaves the body. There should be no urine on the penis, but if there is it will not hurt you. If there is discharge from the penis, avoid oral sex and send your man to the doctor. No, oral sex is not nasty with a clean, healthy partner.

Do I have to swallow his semen? You do not have to swallow semen. The taste of semen varies based on the man’s diet, his general make up, and any medications. Some women like the taste, others do not. Semen is the ultimate protein shot! A teaspoon of semen contains 150 mg of protein, 11 mg of carbohydrates, 6 mg of fat, 3 mg of cholesterol and 7% of the recommended daily allowance of potassium. A general “serving” of semen contains 5-25 calories. You will not gain weight from swallowing semen, and it could help your skin!

If you choose not to swallow you man’s semen, keep a tissue nearby and spit it out.

So how do you “suck that thing?” There are a variety of techniques. The main thing to remember is that you must be relatively gentle. Most of the nerves are found around the rim of the head of the penis. Men generally enjoy stimulation in this area. Keep the pressure from your teeth light or cover your teeth with your Grasping the base of the shaft firmly while sliding the penis in and out of your mouth generally feels good to the guy. Twist your hands gently up and down the shaft of the penis with a lubricant such as coconut oil. Massage the testicles gently. Most men enjoy having the “balls” licked and sucked gently.

Oral sex is not to be rushed. This act can be enjoyed in shower, the bed, the car, or any private place where you can relax.

Surprise your guy with an oral event tonight – the benefits can be really good!


Oral Sex 101 for Men

Some things in life are a given. It is a “given” men like to eat. They attack their food with passion and excitement. Watch a table full of men when a platter of thick, juicy T-bone steaks arrive. Stay out of the way because there is soon to be some major chowing down!

This caveman passion for culinary offerings is often carried over to the bedroom. Men love to receive oral sex, so they assume women love to receive oral sex. Speaking for women, I will say, “Yes, we do!”. The big caveat is… if it is done properly.

There are few books that frankly discuss the art of male on female oral sex practices. Yes, there are a plethora of porn sites. Yes, guys discuss their prowess in this area. But if a man wants the real story, ask a woman.

In my clinical practice of women’s health and wellness, it is not unusual to have a patient present to the office with a rash caused by over-zealous oral sex with a man who has whiskers. Ouch! This really is uncomfortable. So … let’s talk about how oral sex should be done by a man on a woman in a manner that will have her wanting more!

If you are not familiar with the parts of a woman’s genitalia, google it. You will learn that the clitoris, while very sensitive to stimulation, is also very sensitive to overstimulation. Approach this area with enthusiasm, but do not bite, rub hard, pinch, twist, or otherwise apply too much direct pressure. Licking is fine as long as the strokes are not too hard. The clitoris is a collection of nerve endings. Most women will have one side more sensitive to sexual stimulation than others. Women prefer nuzzling or licking the side of the clitoris more than directly on top of the clitoris.

Eighty (80%) percent of females have clitoral orgasms. Only 20% have vaginal orgasms. This should tell you that the talent of properly stimulating the clitoral area will be pleasurable to your lady. The vaginal lips also contain many nerve endings. They are not as sensitive as the clitoris, but licking and gentle sucking feels good. It is imperative to employ less enthusiasm than you do when devouring that steak.

If you have whiskers, do not rub the genitalia or the inner thighs with your face – it causes a burning sensation. When urine touches a rash, the resulting burning is very painful.

Placing your fingers in the vagina while licking or sucking the clitoris is usually enjoyable to the woman. Make sure your hands are clean and that you do not have ragged nails. The vaginal tissues are delicate and easily torn by hangnails or sharp nails.

After repeated stimulation orally or manually, the clitoris temporarily becomes desensitized. What does this mean in everyday language? It means if the woman has not had an orgasm after a while (and “a while” will vary from woman to woman), move on to stimulation of the vagina. Play with the nipples. Kiss. Talk naughty. Do something other than continuing to stimulate the clitoris.

If asked, most women will tell their guy what feels good. Vibrators can bring a woman to a magnificent orgasm while the man may enjoy watching or having traditional penis in vagina sex. Use non-latex adult toys. Latex vaginal or vulvar toys can cause painful burning or dangerous reactions.

Be cautious with flavored or perfumed lotions in the vaginal area. I love chocolate as much or more than anyone, my vagina does not. Flavored or perfumed products can cause painful reactions.

If your lady has an unusual odor, put on your brakes. Sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted via oral sex. The vagina should not itch, burn, or have a bad odor. There should be no warty growths, blisters or sores.

Oral sex can be mutually pleasurable if done properly. Remember, do not attack your woman as you do your food. Enjoy her delights. She will alert you to too much pressure or discomfort. If she begins to pull away from you, lighten your touch. Learn the difference in a moan of pleasure and one of pain.

So here it is… oral sex 101:

Step 1: Try to be somewhat romantic most of the time. On occasion, both just want to “go for it”. However, remember not too much pressure. Work your way down from her soft breasts to her abdomen, then on to the target.

Step 2: Start with gentle licks to either side of the clitoris, occasionally including the hooded portion. Nuzzle the clitoris. Massage it gently. Be careful with whiskers!

Step 3: Take your tongue further south. Lick or gently suck the lips of the vagina (labia). Insert your tongue or fingers (one at a time) into the vagina.

Step 4: Increase the pressure on the clitoris until the woman begins to rock with a rhythmic motion. Usually her hips will begin to move forward when approaching orgasm. Don’t rush this step.

Step 5: Immediately following orgasm, the clitoris is extremely sensitive. Do not begin to stimulate again until the woman indicates she is ready.

Step 6: This is when vaginal intercourse is usually more pleasurable.

Step 7: Following your orgasm, snuggle for a while. Women love to be held close.

Oral sex is an adult activity that can be fun for both if attention to detail is observed. Enjoy! I always welcome your comments on my blogs as well as requests for topics of interest. .

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