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The Power of Touch

One of the first senses we acquire is the sense of touch. Even in the mother’s womb, the feel of her heartbeat is sensed by the fetus. At birth, bonding takes place, in part, by the loving touch of the mom.

As we grow through life, the power of touch is seen often, a reassuring hug when life throws a curve, a gently held hand when bad news is given, or a warm kiss from a friend to let you know they are close.

Touch brings a unique energy to communication, whether friend, foe, family or lover. A human can perceive emotion via the touch of another, whether visually engaged or not. Certainly, most of us as rowdy kids remember the firm hand on our shoulder of a teacher when we mischievously acted out unacceptable behaviors. To the former athletes among us, ever had a couch grab you by the shoulders or arms and explain what you are doing wrong or right?


Growing up in the deep south as a daughter of a minister, I was expected to exemplify good behavior in the church house. My mother had this special touch when I decided to err from the expected behavior that left no doubt of her message. She would reach over, pinch my thigh, and twist at the same time. I hated this! Once, in my youthful brave state, I returned the pinch. Ummm, shall I say not a good idea!

In a romantic relationship, touch brings a special energy, an electrifying energy, a comforting energy, a reassuring energy. Of course, in a relationship there are different sexual scenarios a couple may experience. Haven’t seen your lover in a while? The sexual encounter may involve “jump on and go”. Have a romantic evening planned? The act of intercourse is the dessert or icing on the cake. Falling into bed after a long day or waking up after a good night’s sleep? Sex is just a nice, fulfilling bonus of a partnership.

The constant in each scenario is touch. Reaching for your partner with varying emotions brings momentary magic highlighted by the energy of touch.


Skin is the largest organ of the human body. When sensory receptors are stimulated, oxytocin, “the love hormone” is released. Numerous studies have shown that regular cuddling is just as important, if not more so, than sexual intercourse. Touch has powerful effects on both the giver and the receiver. Much unspoken information is passed in touch.


For the purpose of this blog, I will address specifically the power and energy of touch in a sexual relationship. There are areas that you may not associate with sexual stimulation that respond to the touch of your partner. For example, ears are a favorite with women. There are nerves in the ears that create pleasure when simulated through touch. Whisper something sweet in our ear; nibble on our earlobe. We will follow you anywhere!


The inner thighs as well as the toes are sensual areas. Massage our feet, run your finger in and out of the space between our toes. Gently pull on our toes. Suck on a toe – why do you think we spend large sums of money on pedicures? In the clinical environment, I assess the soles of a woman’s feet during her annual exam. If she has thick, dry, scaly soles, I know she probably has a Vitamin A deficiency.


When a female is aroused, the clitoris has more blood flow which in turn increases sensation from touch. The navel and the clitoris share the same type tissue. This indicates the navel is another area of sensory pleasure. Gentle touch is preferred in these areas of heavily sensate pleasure zones.


Feathery touches to the neck create pleasure. The scalp has many nerve endings; the lips do too. Nerves in the lower back travel to the buttocks. Stimulation of the nipples releases oxytocin. Depending on the place in a woman’s monthly cycle, nipple enjoy stimulation more than other times. Trust me, she will let you know!


Since I am female, I have asked a trusted male counterpart for his take on the power of touch. He concurs that there is an energy in the power of proper touch. Apparently, men gauge the progression of a relationship in the progress of touch, that is, moving from a less intimate to a more intimate touch. It seems to set the acceptable pace for the relationship as far as moving from the proverbial first base, then second.


Touch can indicate many things such as affection, respect, interest. Men seem to feel more interest in women when the woman gives a signal of interest, perhaps by her touch. Men like a considerate and sensual lover who is open to exploring not only the obvious areas of pleasure but makes it a point to find new ones!


When women experience a light touch from a man, it may increase her feeling of confidence in the man as well as accentuate his position of dominance. Touch can emphasize emotions such as anger, fear, love, gratitude and sympathy. The pressure, location, and frequency of the touch tells a great deal. A firm grasp, a gentle tickle, pressure and texture of touch notate different intentions.


There are some scientifically proven “givens” in the communication of touch. Generally, the person with the higher status chooses whether touch becomes a part of the interaction. The status could be determined by sex, age, or socioeconomic events. When people of the same status interact, touch is more a sign of solidarity and acceptance. The person who initiates touching gains a special power.

In both sexual and nonsexual communication, touch can be used by high-status men to remind lower-status women of their subordinate positions. However, lower-status women can initiate touch to undermine the status of higher-status men.


Touch is the secret weapon in a successful relationship. The language of touch has been studied intensively. Nothing, however, takes the place of your own personal research. How comforting is it to lay next to your beloved partner with skin to skin contact? It is heavenly to feel the heartbeat of another against your back, or to drape your legs over his more massive ones.


The utilization of different body parts can be an unexpected pleasure. In addition to one’s hand, a foot, a toe, a (fill in the blank) can give unexpected stimulation.


Feeling the breath of your partner against your face is better than a gift of flowers or chocolate. Simply holding hands makes everyday life more palatable. When my husband was alive (I lost him to cancer about 4 years ago), I always found comfort in stressful situations by touching his thigh. He was physically much larger than I. Feeling a large, muscular thigh made me feel safe. Touch is one of the main things that I miss.

Males, like females, respond to the touch of another. It can be a calming touch, a relaxing touch, a stimulating touch, or a confidence booster. This is an energy that each relationship should explore. Find what works for your situation. Experiment different avenues of touch. If it is not acceptable to your partner, you will know quickly. Move on to other types of touch. Remember, personal research is quite fun! The most important idea to note is that like most everything sexual, satisfaction begins with the creativity of your mind!

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